Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Today was just one of those days when I could not concentrate. I had accomplished all the morning chores and came in the sewing room-knowing I have more to do - but I just could not find it in my heart? So, I pulled out the crochet pattern for the sitting hen and went to work on her. She is so cute that it makes me feel better to just work on her.

The man from the gas company pulled up and checked out what it would take to put that little gas stove in- -600.00 for the stove and 600.00 each for two tanks of gas- so 1800.00 -but two of our trees would have to be severely trimmed and our two chairs would have to go- leaving just the couch that would hold 3 people. All of a sudden choices seemed so overwhelming that I think both of us were stuck. We thanked the young man for coming and then DH went in the back to pick up some wood and I finished up my little chicken. As I was working on the chicken a tv program called Dr. Oz came on and they were discussing end of life and if people should have the right to end their own life if they were in a terminal condition and in overwhelming pain. Back and forth the debate raged . I managed to stay neutral while I listened until they talked about a man with prostate cancer that had metastasized  into the bones in his head and how his family had to watch him lay screaming in pain for the days that it took him to die.  It was as if a cold scary hand reached into my heart with fear and dread and I turned it off and came to the sewing room to at least finish this project . Then I started to tremble and tremble and finally tremble all over like an earthquake in my body.

At least now I have a nice pair of little chickens to help protect somebody's hands for Christmas. I could not shake the trembling and then the tears - so I cleaned up the table and went for that evening walk. It helped to return me to as normal as I can be.

So tomorrow is another day - love to all.

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