Good Bye My Sweet Angel-Dixie Doodles

tThe day started off as normal-morning chores and when we came back in something just was not right.  Dixie had been sleeping on her big over-stuffed pillow when I went out, but now she was laying in the hall and I noticed water around her.

I picked up a towel to wipe up the water and looked into her eyes and my heart just sank. Her eyes were glazed over and I recognized that look all to well from losing sweet Pee Wee last year. Seizures! Horrible tortures of something that you love that throws them all over the place ,writhing in misery. How could something so horrible come upon one of the sweetest little furbabies that ever set a foot on earth

I called the vet and they let us bring her right in. I scooped her up and took her to the car, placing her in the back area where I keep the seat down and an open area to haul things . I keep it that way because I am a "truck person" and this way I keep a "truck bed" to be useful.

One time she had curled up to the back door -the way she always did when we took her riding . She loved to take in the view and then sleep as when we drove two hours to go see DH's sister in W.VA.She always got hugs and kisses from her too.

The next time I looked she had started to have another seizure as she thrashed about and my heart was just breaking into pieces..We arrived at the vets and I carried her in. I knew it was serious and our vet was so kind. She asked to run blood work to see if her organs had been damaged and as clinging to straws . I was hoping it was something medicate-able. It turned out that as they were doing the blood work she started to seize again and this time they could not contain it.

I asked what was the doctors guess and she suspected cancer. I Have always Hated that monster. So, I agreed to let her go . The doc had fixed her up so nice with a down pillow while they had her on gas. I gave her hugs and kisses and told her to go wait at the Rainbow Bridge with my other furbabies and I would follow shortly.

Then she went ever so peacefully . You know you have done the right thing- but it is still so very hard. Any of you who have loved furbabies knows what I mean. Ten years - it went by so very fast-too fast for me. We brought her home and DH buried her. He had tears too - and he is one that never cries. His nick-name for her was Dixie Chickie.

There is a big hole in my heart tonight. I really wasn't expecting this quiet so soon. She had been going with me on my walks and I thought that was a good thing-making her stronger and more healthy.I miss her so badly - I double missed her on my walk tonight. She is not on her pillow -or- behind the couch in the living room - and she is not sleeping beside my bed tonight.

I have a buzzing headache and m eyes are as red as they can get and they are so swollen I  can barely close them. You know how those "If ONLYs' are . You know how it is.

Love-to-all tonight.