Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Customing Jeans again
It was a challenge pulling this project off. I am in counseling from a wreck (post traumatic stress) where a teenager hit us head on a year now past. I ended up with a concussion and whiplash that I have Hated for the last year. But for the past year every time I HAVE to get in the car I get car sick and a headache. So now I hate to get in the car. I also showed up with Fibromyalgia and I have learned to despise Mr. Fibromyalgia. It has been a long hard lesson along the way and I do my share of whining (smile)
Hubby and I HAD to get in the car on Monday to go to town and I ended up with the worst headache and I Could not shake it at all. It escalated until I was in tears and that does not help. Then Tues. I must have spent my first day in a depression - it was a terrible dark place to visit. More tears from the headache and a hopelessness that settled into my spirit. I called it : "getting lost in my mind" - I could not even figure me out anything to eat - even through I was so hungry. I started thinking about all the people who I have hear about that have depression and my heart went out to them. No matter what the cause - it is a terrible dark place of the soul - and I wished I could fix it for all of us.
My husband and I walk every evening and I knew that would help. It is a real battle because of the pain from Mr. Fibromyalgia but I know with every step that I am making progress. We make it two miles now - we were doing 5 miles this July and August - but I keep a picture of a "nursing home" in my mind's eye - because that is one place I never want to be - so I keep on struggling. I knew yesterday If we could only walk it would help - Even though we have to ride to the park and I Hate the ride. I think it is a shame because I used to enjoy the ride and see all of God's beauty along the way. Now, being car sick just beats my spirit down.
I knew today would be a day of help - because I have an angel that is labeled , counselor.That might be her earthly title - but to me she is an angel and after an hour that is no more than the blink of an eye - she had calmed my tears and eased my headache for the first time in 3 days ! What a relief.
I think one of my lessons I am working on is that Everybody - no matter who they are : is struggling with lessons on this earth .And many of us use creativity for a release . I applaud your struggles and your successes as I believe we are all out here together -doing the best that we can do.
You very talented , creative ones are such a blessing to me as the wondrous things you create brighten my world and light my path as we go on.I may never see your creations but I can feel your struggle with your chains of heartache . I may never see you in person, but I do send you love and appreciation for all that you do. Thank you each and every one for sharing the heartbeat of our Mother Earth.
Hugs to all of you because I know each of you are so gifted and so unique in your footprint that you leave as we go along this walk together. Much love and hopes for wondrous days ahead.
The Sewing Granny