Monday, March 12, 2012

Monday Meltdown

Have you ever had one of those days that you just got overwhelmed & caught off guard? Well, today was that day for me. The weather was sooooo beautiful & I had got all of my morning chores accomplished & a bath & hair clean -just to have an appointment with the doctor. I have a lovely young lady doctor that I am nuts about. She is kind & sensitive to your feelings- But- I think my "unraveling" came once we arrived at the clinic & signed in. I had been off of my meds for two weeks. I had called & told them that I would run out of my meds Before my doctor visit & I did not know what to do. The young pharmacist had called & said that she would have someone call me . But nobody called & I ran out  &  Mr. Fibromyalgia jumped on me with a vengeance. The pain moved back in & my body was consumed with fire & the brain fog settled back in & I was lost. It was horrible -but I think I bluffed my way through as I did not want my DH to have anything else on him as he fights with his cancer.

Once we arrived at the clinic I could feel that depression settle on me -just the thought that I have finally been diagnosed with this monster & the right medicine which locks it away in its cage , but had been denied it for two weeks just seemed more than I could bear on the inside. It is hard to fight extreme pain because it leads to exhaustion . But, when I gave the girl my papers she handed me my prescription- and was dated two weeks ago-it had been here all that time & I had not been notified. I told her I had a doctor appointment & did not know about my meds. She asked if I wanted them & I said a definite YES . But while I sat there waiting something inside of me began to crumble & when that sweet little nurse called me as I approached her & she asked those fateful words -how are you? That did it - I dissolved in tears -of course -mortifying myself.Once the tears started -there was no stopping them.

I made an absolute idiot of myself - but they definitely found out that I needed those meds . Same story with my sweet doctor. We had a sweet chat -in between tears. It turned out that my thyroid was messed up too. I showed her my gums -how I seemed to have a bony area sticking out on one side which made me 'whoppy-jawed". She too thought that when he had pulled my teeth he had broken that one side off uneven leaving me really whoppy-jawed. I asked if she thought it might interfer with getting dentures to fit & she said probably not since they would make a mold. But, I just hate that EVERYTHING on me is always Quirky.

So it ended up she raised  my thyroid meds & I have to have bloodwork in April . I apologized to her and told her that I guess once I was behind doors where DH could not see me I just let all of my pain & fears loose . I try to be so brave for him as I do not want to add any extra burden on him at this time when he needs all of his strength to fight this disease. I will be fine once I get my meds ( or as Chris on DietCokeRocks  - calls them- happy pills) back in my system . Plus, I get to see my counselor on Weds & they are calling for such beautiful weather here -with all of that sunshine - I will be on top of the world  & a new woman.  LOL

So, with high hopes I came home -did evening chores  & fed us -then started on that serger once again. I pulled the manual out & read & re-read taking it one sentence at a time -like Lynne had taught me to use for patterns & construction.

After another hour we had come to some kind of a compromise-not perfect -but usable for a shirt for me -hopefully to work out the kinks as we go along. So, I managed to get the shoulders re-sewn & the neckband attached. Making progress -but I need to lock the chickens up & feed the woodstove & get ready for bed as DH has a doctor appointment in the morning.

I hope you guys have had a lovely day - the weather here is going to be "unbelieveably too beautiful " here for the rest of the week. Everybody both here & in other countries are talking about the "global warming affect" & wondering if this is why all of our weather is so different?

So, love to all & Happy stitches to you until I see you again. :-)


  1. I am so glad you got your happy pills sweetie! And I totally understand how you are holding in all the pain and worry so your DH does not see it... as you say, he has enough on his plate with the cancer, the poor bugger.
    BUT... in saying that... BLOODY WELL LOOK AFTER YOURSELF TOO you silly chook!
    We can't have both of you cark it now can we!

  2. Sorry you had a bad time but things turned around when you got your pills.. :)
    Stay strong.
    Prayers are going out for you

  3. I'm so glad you got your pills even if they were way late. Don't forget to take care of yourself too.