A Heart Breaking Saturday For Me

     I took Cowboy this morning to the new vet for the second opinion and it was not good news. The wound had turned into cancer and she said even if they did surgery to remove it -it was such a massive place it would take a quarter of his head . I understood but after all those trips back and forth to the other vet over the past two months just hoping it would heal and to realize you are at the end of your road with one that you love -it is heart breaking.

                                                                                     

He was born in the wild and my girlfriend had trapped him and his brother. She had kept his brother and in order to make sure my hubby would fall in love with him I had named him Cowboy because my hubby always loved Any old cowboy movies.We were just born during that time frame. Today we still have bad guys and sheriffs -they just look a little different. 

Doug fell for him and just about everywhere you would see one - you would see the other. Even when my DH would go hunting he would say in the back of 72 acres he would see Cowboy sleeping in a tree waiting for him to come home.

He was always a perfect gentleman - he just happened to be one of those kitties when you loved on him - he drooled .He just loved that loving any way he could get it - even if he had to ASK for it.

He had not eaten last night - only licked at his tuna briefly so I knew he needed help.

 But I thought we were just going to go to this wonderful new vet who was going to do surgery on his ear and everything would be alright and we would have another Summer together. IF only my neighbor's cat had not come down and did this to him. People just do not know the heartache  they cause others by not keeping their animals home.

But by the time we got there he was covered in blood . That place had broken open and it was a mess.

I knew he was suffering but he still reached out for his loving.

It's so hard to make that decision , but I had that same feeling when my hubby was passing -it is beyond your help then. I could not bury him now due to the frozen ground and below temperatures so my daughter paid to have him cremated and I will have his ashes with DH's . They will be together once again.

I had trouble gaining my self composure back to drive home. Driving through tears can be rough.

When I got home I grabbed a gallon of warm water and ran out to give the first round of chickens a drink - ?????? But when I got to the second cage I realized there was blood all in it. Two little seabrights lay in pieces and the third had been ripped between the bottom of the wire and the wood door frame. That dern raccoon had hit again. That stupid trap had failed Again and now I had lost 3 more birds. I had bred these 3 from a little rooster my son had given me and then carefully bred them down 4 years to get a pure breed that was beautiful and I was so proud of them. To have them die such horrible deaths was just killing me.

I walked around for the next hour and half  searching for my old live traps that I had - but I could not find them ANYWHERE! They have just vanished into thin air. They are much stronger traps than this new -thinner gauge wire trap. I finally gave up and put a fresh left over body into the trap and put it INSIDE the cage and shoved a cinder block up tight against it so it does not wobble around. The back where the body is at is now against the wall of the cage so he will not be able to just go to the back and try to reach in and flip the catch. Normally he will not come back the next night because he has eaten -but since we are having this bitter cold -we will see.

I did get smart and grab my last two little Cochins from the last apartment and take then into the main building -where -SO FAR - that stupid animal has not figured out a way in and I Pray that he does not.

So my heart and spirit are badly bruised tonight. It is hard to lose someone you love - no matter how many legs they have or don't have.

Love to all.